Abortion go hard

Every week I drive past an abortion clinic on my way to Foster Care visits.  Some weeks I drive past it 6 or more times.  Lately, there's been a church group in front of it, holding signs.  They are doing the 40 day fast for abortion.  I always honk as I drive past them, in support.  I didn't intend to honk the first time, it just happened.  So, now I honk each time I'm going out of town and see them there.  But, I am conflicted.  About the honking, and about them being there.

Honking my car horn isn't going to save any children.





I'm tempted to just leave this post at that.
(And I did for a few days, but here I am to finish it.)


I can't put into black and white type the twisty feeling in my stomach and the headache that slams into my brain, every time I think about this subject.  I can, however, tell you why I am conflicted.


I am not conflicted about abortion.  Abortion has taken generations of children under the guise of "Women's Rights".  And that catch-phrase makes me want to puke at what it has become as contrasted against what it was when it started.  Abortion is premeditated murder to the inth degree.  (Of course, I am not referring to Spontaneous Abortion, also called miscarriage.)  I will always be anti-abortion, and vehemently so.

I am conflicted by the way the argument is carried out in the social media and public forum.  I am conflicted by the way the church (the US church as a whole) treats the girls and women that have chosen this.

I have worked with a few of these girls.  Some were just 14 or 15, no where to go, no one to help except Planned Parenthood or a 'helpful' social worker.  They are terrified at the thought of this pregnancy (whether or not it is their first).  Their families sometimes encouraged the surgery or pill.  I have also worked with girls that wished they had gotten an abortion, or didn't for the sole reason that they were too far along when they realized the life growing in their belly, or didn't have money for the surgery.  I have worked with girls whose families were angry that they had not chosen abortion.

Even for just one second, I can't imagine what it would feel like to be in algebra class and know that I was pregnant.  Would I break out in a cold sweat as I navigated the halls of my high school, totally consumed or paralyzed by the thought of having to tell my mom?  Would I be angry?  Would I tell my friends?

The pressure to have an abortion, for some of these girls, is immense.  Family, friends, the social care system (government), all encourage abortion.  It makes me shaky and so thankful to think about some of the stories I have been told of girls that stood up against all of the pressure and decided to continue the pregnancy.

I won't go into it in this blog specifically, but it amazes me that the same families that will pressure a girl to kill her unborn child will refuse to let her make the sacrifice of giving the child to a family that is wanting a little one to love and raise in a stable home where they will  never go hungry or by neglected or abused.  I'm gonna stop myself there, or this will become a different post altogether.


Though I haven't worked with this population directly, I know that another reason that women will make the decision to abort is because they can't handle another mouth to feed.  I suspect that in some cases, if the woman is being supported by her family, the family will tell her that they refuse to help raise yet another child.
Where is the church in all of this?  Why are there not specific outreaches to single moms that may be considering abortion?  Planned Parenthood is a sharp, refined, pointed instrument- aimed straight at poor, scared women.  The Two-Edged sword of God should likewise by aimed at Planned Parenthood, and the arms of God should be embracing these women and girls, regardless of the decisions they are contemplating or have made.
Prayer is definitely the answer.  Fasting is a good answer.  Standing outside an abortion clinic with signs?  Honking in support of those signs?  I have less confidence that is an answer- because it does NOTHING to reach the hearts and minds of the women that would go into that abortion clinic.  It makes us feel good about taking a stand- but where exactly should we be standing?
Damn to hell the unrepentant and irreverent Dr's and nurses and social care workers that pressure these girls to abort their children.  May they burn for an eternity and never gain reprieve.  God forgive me for my lack of compassion for these individuals, and help me to aim my anger instead at Satan, the originator of this work.
I would rather be standing next to these girls, having a conversation, than picketing where they had their surgery.  I'd rather be inciting healing than shame.
Maybe it comes down to this.  We ('We' being the US church) are lazy Christians.  We have become gods unto ourselves- staying 'busy', staying 'informed', staying on top of what is 'relevant.'  We are good at being vigilant and armed...are we good at doing the nitty gritty work of furthering the Kingdom?  It is so easy and it feels so good and brave to take a stand against abortion by standing in front of a clinic with signs on a busy street.  It is NOT easy to walk into a women's shelter and give time and to meet these women's eyes and to touch them physically and listen to them.  It's not easy to meet these women and girls at the heart level- because that would mean opening my own heart, and that isn't a place that I want another sinner to see.  Especially a sinner that has done something as bad as killing a child.
Do you see where I am trying to go with this?
I am conflicted because I am doing the easy thing- I honk in support of the men and women in front of the abortion clinic.  I am not doing the hard thing- digging into the hurting part of my community that needs Christ the most, and meeting them on a human level.  It twists my stomach and gives me a headache to think about that and to judge my choices as what they are.  
I want Tallie and Kaia to be willing do die for their faith in Jesus, should it be asked of them.  Doing only the easy thing will not teach them what Jesus is worth.

ps.  "go hard" in urban lingo means to do something really well, or to the fullest of your ability.  I thought it was fitting to work into the title.