'It'. Skooks me!

oy.  'It'.  The big pee-oh-tee-tee-why.

Last February (or so) we began to potty train Tallie.  My goal was to get her trained before she was 2 1/2, which I read is the age after which potty training becomes all but impossible.  It was rough, but by the time we moved in June she was doing alright, with few accidents.  I was working fulltime, but Darren wasn't in school yet, so he was spending lots of time with the girls.

Then Darren went to school, and the girls didn't see either of us for hours at a time.

And that was the end of Tallie being potty-trained.

At the meek suggestion of our patient and diligent nanny, we reverted back to pull-ups.

But it's getting steadily worse.  Tallie has developed an aversion to everything involved with going to the restroom.  We have tried all the tricks.  A variety of positive and negative reinforcements, with (ashamedly I admit) punishment every once in a while.  I'm embarrassed to say that I have spanked Tallie for soiling her diaper.  Darren and I agreed when we started this that we would not engage in any power-struggle with T over this, and that she would never be punished for going in her diaper or 'forgetting'.  Alas, that pact has fallen apart in the past month.

Here are a couple things Darren and I have identified as contributing factors to this major regression.  First off, Tallie Joy was born @ Gateway.  D and I were around all the time.  Tallie has never known life without mom and dad with her all day.  While our nanny is a cherished gift from God, whom T loves dearly, it's a colossal change for her...and the transition has been harder for her than expected.  Along with this is that Tallie and Kaia are in the house all day, and I work from home (upstairs) and Darren is in and out throughout the day.  We decided that in order to make this really awkward situation go smoothly, we would ignore the girls unless the nanny asked for help/input.  Now, we are thinking that this was a bad idea.  When I come down for lunch I hardly say 'hi' to the girls.  Tallie (and Kaia) doesn't understand why in the world some parts of the day mom and dad are excited to be with her and interact as normal, and other times we hardly acknowledge her.  It makes my heart ache that we didn't think about how the girls might react to this.  We are going to change this and act normal around the girls all the time, and I am going to move my office (the search for a good place in Winona/Warsaw begins tomorrow!) so that I'm not around when the nanny is.

Secondly, being a 'big girl' isn't appealing- Kaia gets lots of attention and she's a baby.  Tallie often states that she wants to wear diapers and drink from a bottle.  We never should have gone the 'big girl' angle :s  Even her speech has regressed some in direct correlation to the frequency of us pushing that 'big girls' go potty.

Tonight it all climaxed.  After a horrendous week, including an HOUR of screaming and sobbing on the potty chair on Monday and her soaking through her clothes 45 mins after going on the potty chair...we are done.

We are not potty training at all.  We are not going to mention it during the day.  We will offer the potty chair 2-3X a day, and offer plenty of praise and positive reinforcement when she is successful.  No more talk of 'big girl' and 'babies'.  No more attempts to shame her into doing it.  No more asking her more than once if she wants to go to the restroom.

It's over.

If this doesn't do the trick,

may God bless her kindergarten teacher, and the teachers to follow.  Maybe by the time she needs to potty train her own kids....


ps.  'Skooks me' is how Tallie pronounces 'Excuse me'.  I am saying 'excuse me' for the grossness of this topic :)