Who is and How to start Foster Parenting!

Since I became a Foster Care Case Manager in June, I have fielded lots of questions about it!  I am excited about this work and love answering these questions.  I thought that it would be good for me to gather my thoughts in one location on the questions I've gotten and some of my thoughts on foster parenting and helping at-risk youth in general.  What better way than here :)

First off, it's important to note that no person has ever 'saved' a child from his past, present, or future.  God is in the business of saving, and He alone.  We that have the privilege to be called to do so, work with at-risk kids and share with them what God has given us.  Foster and adoptive families are able to provide safe and stable homes for these children for however long, by the grace of God.

There are no typical or 'normal' foster families.  I have worked with quite a variety!  A quiet family of 3 that lives in an old farm house, a rambunctious and always-going family of 5 that lives deep in a forest on a hill with relatives living nearby in a trailer, a couple who both work full-time day jobs, a set of 'grandparents', and more.  Interestingly, empty-nesters are popular with case managers, often because the foster child/ren can be the sole day-to-day focus of the mother, and because the foster parents can be 'grandpa' and 'grandma' and there is no mother conflict in the child's mind. There is no 'normal' to what a foster family is.  And there definitely is no 'normal' to what a family that helps at-risk children looks like.  Whatever you are, and wherever God has you, you can be in the lives of at-risk children (Whether it's through fostering, mentoring, adopting, or volunteering at your local homeless shelter.).

If you are considering adoption, foster to adopt is a great way to go, and not only because of the cost.  If you are open to adopting sibling groups, it's an even better way to go.  Each month we get Family Case Managers (Department of Child Service case managers) that call us, desperately looking to place sibling groups into adoptive homes.  Because of the critical need, these adoptions often go through very quickly.  It's important to be sure that God has called you to this before you dive in!

People become foster parents for any number of reasons.  A christian or christian couple considering this for their future needs to be absolutely sure that God is calling them to this work.  As a foster parent you may have days will have days in which your only source of reassurance that you are doing the right thing is that you can go back and clearly identify the place and time when you knew that God was calling you out and asking you to serve in this manner.  Often, you will feel like you don't have answers.  Often, you will feel like the challenges of child you are working with seem insurmountable.  Often, you will be leaning on the grace of God, and that alone.

When your family becomes a foster family, so does your extended family.  Your foster kids will be at family functions, you may take them on vacation, they will be in activities and sports and need someone to be in the stands cheering them on, they will have doctors visits, and more.  It's important to talk with your extended family and close friends about your decision, and what changes this may bring about in your interaction with them and within your family. You will need to ask them, too, for their support.  Later, you will need them to remind you that you are here because God asked you to be, and that He knows and cares.

Once you decide to pursue becoming a foster parent, you need to choose an agency.  This agency will do an initial interview, a home-study, a background check, and your pre-requisite training as well as your yearly on-going training.  There are a few different types of agencies.  The first is public- the government.  Each county has foster parents through that counties DCS office.  These foster parents will get 'first pick' from the available kids in the system in that county.  Besides the county, foster parents can be licensed through Licensed Child Place Agencies (LCPAs).  Gateway Woods is such an agency.  LCPAs are often not-for-profits, and may or may not be christian-based.  You will get all of the same training as county families, but you will get added support from your agency case manager, and will have more training options.  Families that decide to go with an LCPA need to be informed, however, that because counties place with their own families first, LCPAs get referrals for 'unwanted' and especially hard cases.  We get the sibling groups, the teens, and the children that come from especially hard places.  It is critical, then, that families that are called into foster care through an LCPA like Gateway Woods, have a good support system and are sure of their calling.

Once you are licensed, you can choose what types of children you would like to take in.  If you are only looking for teen girls between 13-17, that's fine!  We may contact you about other cases that we think you might be interested in, but you can turn down any referral for any (or no) reason.  Sometimes families take breaks between placements or change their mind about what type of child/ren they want to take.  Once you are licensed, you are totally in control as to what child/ren is/are placed in your home.

I think that answers some basic questions.  If anyone in my audience has questions, feel free to ask.  Also, if you have any friends that you have that are looking for info, feel free to copy/paste or have them contact me. Thanks!

d.b.eisenmann@gatewaywoods.org.  (765) 490-4729