1 Thes 5:16-18

The Spirit moved mightily in me through the sermon last sunday in Leo and I want others to hear it, too!  Unfortunately, both the audio and downloadable file are corrupted on the website.  I am hoping that it will be fixed soon. Set aside 45 minutes and listen to or download this sermon.  It's the one labeled '09/23/12 sunday am service'.  Like I said, hopefullyb it's fixed by the time you read this post!

I Thessalonians 5:16-18

¹⁶ Rejoice evermore.

¹⁷ Pray without ceasing.

¹⁸ In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.

I have been pouting and feeling sorry for myself that I am almost 30 and still haven't fulfilled my dream of furthering my education.  I feel like my brain is atrophying...which it is, but it would be doing that even if I was in school.  Instead of whining and secretly planning my 'life's escape to school' I'm going to work at choosing to rejoice with JOY, right here, right now!  And if my joy doesn't always involve happiness, that's okay.  Even when I'm bummed or feeling selfish or feeling ugly- I am still going to work on cultivating joy.
I desperately want to go back to school.  Before last Sunday if I had been told definitively that I would never get the opportunity to learn in a classroom or lab again, I probably would have fallen to pieces for a significant period of time.  Now, I feel like I've been aided in holding this dream a little looser in my hand.  The two (sermon, dream release) are not explicitly connected, but the Spirit worked in my heart and I realized that no matter what happens, I can and must choose joy.

Darren and I are making a concerted effort to pour time into our girls during this crazy 4 or 5 year period.  Darren is busy with school, and I am working fulltime and contemplating getting a second job.  Darren does a great job carving out at least one hour a day to toss the girls up in the air and play with them at night, and I try to not be distracted or only party there when I am with them.  I don't know if my holding on so tightly to my desire to return to school effects my children, but I suspect that it does.  Hopefully I will be a better mom during this time, as I learn to loosen my grip on something that meant so much to me :)  I want to be a cheerleader and morale booster to my kids and husband, and I know that I'll be a better support to them if I give my dreams over to God.  I know that I'll have to revisit this subject of loosening my grip on my dream of more education, but it has been so freeing to do it now, and I hope that I'll remember this the next time I realize I have a death hold on it!

whew.  That feels good.  Terrifying, but good.